The Curry Incident of 2007

So on Lost last night, we discovered that Locke’s own father was the reason for his paralysis. He shoved him right out an eight-story window. (That’s not a very nice thing to do to the guy who gave you a kidney…) I’m starting to see a bit of a pattern on the show… I think… I mean, it’s so hard to tell what’s a pattern and what’s not when it comes to Lost. But I think perhaps this crazy island is The Island of Familial Strife. Because doesn’t it seem like just about everyone has some sort of family issue? Bad relationships with dads, especially… Jack and his alcoholic dad; Kate and the abusive dad she killed (plus her unsympathetic step-dad); Claire and her totally absent dad who also turned out to be Jack’s dad; Sun’s evil dad who never thought Jin was good enough for her; Hurley’s dad who walked out on him when he was a kid and decided to pop back into his life when he won the lottery; and now Locke’s conman dad who tries to kill him… and even the Others have some weird dad issues – like the fact that Alex’s dad is the guy running the place, and she doesn’t like him very much. It just seems like “bad relationships with family” is a running theme. Or maybe just “bad relationships” in general… because then I could toss in Charlie and Sayid and Sawyer…

Anyway… so the other day I was watching Rachel Ray on the Food Network. I can’t stand Rachel Ray. She annoys me to no end. Every time she says the word “delish” I want to smack her. “Oooo… this smells so delish… this will taste so delish when it’s done… I just think hamburgers are so delish…” Argh – shut UP, already. Can’t you just say “delicious”? Heck, I’d even take “yummy.” And that’s not the only thing that annoys me about Rachel Ray’s show – just the very concept of a “30-minute meal” annoys me. Because most of what she cooks on her show is a far cry from 30 minutes start to finish. Unless you have a sous chef to follow you around and do all the prep work and clean up. I have no doubt that most of the COOKING takes less than 30 minutes – but what about all the washing and chopping and dicing and defrosting and peeling and subsequent cleaning? Once it’s all said and done, you’re looking at at least an hour of work…

But that’s not the point of this ramble… the point is that I happened to catch the end of her show the other day, and she had just made a vegetable curry. Which sounded really good to me. I went to the Food TV website and found the recipe, but instead of copying it exactly (I didn’t have all the ingredients) I decided to make some substitutions. Her recipe called for eggplant (I hate eggplant so I never buy it), but I just tossed in whatever vegetables I had on hand. Her recipe also called for two tablespoons of curry paste and some fresh ginger – I only have various jars of curry powder and ground ginger. So to make a “paste” I added a bit of olive oil, until I had what appeared to be about a tablespoon of curry/ginger paste (I didn’t want to start with too much spice…). I threw it in the pan with my vegetables, and let the whole thing simmer.

After a while, I tasted a potato to see if it was done, and was surprised by how spicy it was. Especially considering I’d only added a tablespoon of curry powder. Well, I thought, maybe it was just that one particular bit of potato. And it wasn’t so spicy I couldn’t handle it… so I dished the whole thing up over some rice, and took a plate to Rick, with a warning that, “it might be really spicy… sorry…” (Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, unbeknownst to me, the paint was peeling off the wall…)

I started in on my own plate, and after a couple bites, realized it was NOT just that one bit of potato that had been so spicy. The whole thing seemed to be curiously, extraordinarily spicy. I struggled my way through as much as I could, but eventually, after my tastebuds had whittled away (and my sinuses were refreshingly clear), I began to hallucinate and was certain I saw Rachel Ray standing in the corner of my living room, pointing and laughing. I had to stop eating. Needless to say, Rick and I eventually went out to find some ice cream. I mean, it wasn’t because we WANTED ice cream… it was a necessary remedy to the strangely spicy curry. Rick told me I should move to India and torment the inhabitants with my fiery cooking. Because he’s certain that even Indians have never eaten anything so spicy…

So the Curry Incident of 2007, not unlike the Soy Sauce Incident of the 90’s, was a learning experience. I am now able to make great stir fry without adding too much soy sauce – and since the vegetable curry would’ve tasted great if I’d actually been ABLE to taste it, I’ll know to cut the amount of curry the next time I try it. (I wonder if curry powder is spicier than curry paste??? I’m still trying to figure out why it was so abnormally spicy, as I’ve used the powder on chicken many times without destroying my tastebuds…)

So who wants to come to my house for dinner? Anyone? Oh, c’mon, it won’t be THAT bad…