Monday, April 28, 2008

So thin is NOT in?

Interesting Yankee game yesterday… the Yankees WON, but only by one run… and Sabathia LOST, but he struck out eight and held the Yankees to four hits. That one run was the result of a home run from Melky Cabrera, who also happens to be on my team. I decided to bench C.C. instead of playing him against the Yankees… but the funny thing is, he ended up with more points for this loss than he had for his first four games of the season COMBINED. So even though he technically lost the game, I’m still greatly encouraged by his improved pitching. Hopefully I won’t need to be buying any more Sabathia Suckscream this season…

So the other night I stayed up until about two in the morning, because I’d started watching this interesting show on Discovery. It was about a tribe of people in Uganda who arrange marriages for their young people – which, in itself, isn’t so unusual. But once the marriage is arranged, the bride-to-be is forced to eat and drink all sorts of fattening foods so she’ll gain weight. Because in this particular tribe, “fat” is also considered “beautiful.”

It was rather fascinating to see how what is considered “attractive” in one part of the world might be considered unattractive somewhere else. Our standards of beauty are obviously influenced by the society to which we are accustomed. Here, it seems that Hollywood often dictates what is “beautiful,” and the only way to achieve a tiny size-zero frame is to eat ridiculously small amounts of food or exercise excessively (or perhaps some torturous combination of the two). Whereas for this tribe in Uganda, “fat” is the ideal. And to achieve it, the girls embark upon an equally unhealthy regime – instead of taking in far too few calories and working out until the point of exhaustion, they drink copious amounts of whole milk, eat butter, and limit their activity to sleeping.

I was a bit disturbed to hear the documentary team interviewing the bride-to-be. This girl was only seventeen years old, and had been happily attending school before her aunt and uncle (raising her since her parents died) literally traded her for ten cows. They got ten cows from a teenaged boy’s family, and the teenaged boy was promised a wife. The girl, however, had dreams of finishing school and moving on to college and perhaps exploring parts of the world other than her own. But once those cows exchanged hands, that was it – she was stuck. She was forced to spend the next four months before her marriage in a “fattening hut,” where her grandmother watched her drink gallons of milk every day and threatened to beat her with a stick if she didn’t finish it all. That teenaged boy couldn’t wait to see his fattened-up bride at the wedding, but the poor girl just wanted to go to college and live her OWN life.

And I just felt so sad when I was watching the show – because not only was this girl forced to gain weight because of an ideal of “beauty” just as unrealistic as our own “size zeros”, but she also longed for a life other than the one she happened to be stuck in. Will she be happy one day? Or will she spend her life wondering how things might have turned out if she’d been able to avoid the arranged marriage, and gone to school, and ate like a normal person so she could just be HERSELF and not someone ELSE’S idea of perfection? Will she, for the rest of her life, assume the grass is greener on the other side of the “fattening hut”?? I guess it doesn’t matter WHAT part of the world you live in – you could be in a modern, metropolitan city or in the middle of the Ugandan wilderness, and STILL struggle with self-image and an obligation to please others before yourself. The culture may be different, but the basic human wants and fears are the same.

And at the moment, my fear is that I won't be able to drink milk for weeks...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Aisle 5 -- Confusion

Well, yes, as Eric D. pointed out in his jinx-laden comment below, C.C. Sabathia FINALLY pitched a decent game the other night. I’d actually benched him, with the intention of simply watching to see whether he was able to string together more than two innings without allowing fifteen runs. But about five minutes before the deadline to change my line-up, I decided to go ahead and play him. A little voice in my head kept saying, “he has to win SOME time… and if you don’t play him, it will definitely be today…” Fortunately, he won in spite of the fact that I played him. (It’s ABOUT TIME…) But now I’m facing a conundrum – Sabathia’s next start is against the Yankees. And if I decide to play him, then obviously I’m wishing for a Yankee loss. And not just a Yankee loss, but a really BAD Yankee loss. Like a shutout. A shutout with 15 strikeouts. What’s more, I have FOUR Yankees on my fantasy team – and if I play Sabathia, I have to hope they all play well, but not TOO well. Perhaps they could all hit singles or doubles or triples, but NO home runs. And they certainly can’t hit when anyone else is on base… and no one ELSE can hit when any of THEM are on base. I mean, this could just be the most nerve-wracking game ever… Of course, now that Eric has jinxed me, C.C. will probably start falling apart again… :)

So yesterday I went grocery shopping at the Randall’s store where I usually shop (although lately, Rick and I have been liking Whole Foods, too… they have great produce and all sorts of organic stuff – like organic chocolate, for instance…). I had written out a shopping list, and I took great care to list everything according to the way products are laid out in the store. I had the entire layout memorized, from my many trips up and down the aisles. The bakery section is first, followed by pastas and soups, then canned fruits and vegetables, and so on and so forth… So I got my cart, quickly found a loaf of bread, and then hurried off to the pasta/soup aisle. But the expected shelves full of Prego sauces and Campbell’s soup were no longer there. In their place were shelves full of snack foods – I was surrounded by Doritos and potato chips and Planter’s peanuts. Confused, I steered my cart into the next aisle, hoping to find what I was looking for – but again, instead of finding any of the items on my list, I was confronted with a wall of soda cans.

Eventually, I took a more observant look around (I don’t usually pay that much attention to my surroundings in the grocery store) and realized that many floor tiles were ripped up, many shelves were torn down, and the entire store seemed to be undergoing some sort of makeover. The produce section has already been redone, with wooden floors and a slightly more exotic fruit and vegetable selection. In fact, I got the feeling that Randall’s was attempting to restructure itself in a Whole Foods sort of manner. I guess Rick and I aren’t the only ones who really like that store…

I told my friend Cindy about my confusion at the grocery store, and she sent me an article about the things grocery stores do to entice patrons to spend more money. One of them is to restock their shelves in a brand new layout, so even people who are familiar with the store are forced to spend more time browsing the shelves. They’ll also sneak in a few new items, so while you’re just innocently searching for the new location of the oatmeal, a shelf full of brand new groceries will appear out of nowhere, veering you off course and resulting in extra items in your cart. And it’s funny, because I DID notice an aisle full of all sorts of new foods from around the world. And I DID get sidetracked when I saw a shelf full of Indian food. And I DID wind up with a tin of curry powder and a jar of Bombay curry simmer sauce, neither of which was on my list. Argh! Those sneaky grocery store plotters tricked me! But I’m on to them now… they will NOT reel me in with their trickery again.

Oh, who am I kidding… of course they will. And gosh, I love curry…

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Random thoughts...

So my fantasy baseball team is (Editor’s note: The rest of this paragraph has been deleted to avoid any fantasy baseball-related jinxes. I’m sure you all understand…)

This morning was the warranty walk-through for our new house. So far, we’ve been pretty happy with everything – we could hardly think of any problems to point out to the warranty guy. There’s a rattling fan upstairs, and a bit of weather stripping is falling off one of the windows in the garage, and the garage door opener needs to be adjusted because it tends to lurch when it’s opened… but other than that, we haven’t really had any problems with this house. It seems to be much more carefully constructed than the last house we owned. Of course, I have a theory that they spent more time on the quality of this house because we backed out of our contract at first – they THOUGHT they would have to put it up for sale and find a buyer, so I’m sure they wanted to make sure everything was as well-constructed as possible. (Although now that the warranty guy has been by, I’m sure the house will start falling apart…)

So I read on CNN that something like 35 or 36 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend. Interestingly enough, Eric was off work and in New Jersey at the time. Therefore, I must conclude that Eric is the backbone of the Chicago police force, and without him, they completely fall apart. (That IS the only logical conclusion, right? :))

Oh, happy Earth Day, everyone! Yea, Earth! It’s the coolest planet ever (except, apparently, when it’s slowly growing too warm)! I was just watching a show on National Geographic, and someone made the comment that “we don’t live on a green earth – we live on a blue earth.” You know, because most of the planet is covered in water. So… should we be “going blue” then, instead of going green? I mean, if the idea behind all the conservation and environmental consciousness and recycling is to save the ENTIRE planet (and not just the parts covered by land) then wouldn’t we be going blue?? Hmmm… just food for thought…

And speaking of Earth Day, has everyone seen those bizarre commercials where a liberal and conservative sit on a couch together and talk about taking care of the planet? I saw one yesterday with Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich… but the REALLY bizarre one stars Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson. Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson? Are there any two people on the planet LESS likely to be hanging out on a couch together than Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson? It’s like the weirdest commercial I’ve ever seen… and, to be honest, it does nothing to convince me to take care of the planet… I just want to take that couch they’re sitting on and toss it right into the ocean… and THAT wouldn’t be very environmentally sensitive…

Okay, that’s enough randomness for today… Eric – get back to work so Chicago doesn’t burn down… again…

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ugh...

I knew I was in trouble last night as I listened to the Cleveland Indians game on XM radio and heard one of the announcers say something like this:

First Announcer: Hey Fellow Announcer, do you feel like we’re seeing a turning point here with Sabathia? His pitching just seems different tonight… he’s definitely doing a better job than his last outing.

Fellow Announcer: Yes, I agree.

And somewhere in my head, a crazy dam broke and a flood of “noooooooooooooooo!” poured out. I was running toward the Cleveland Indians announcer booth, arms waving wildly, searching for a plug to pull or a microphone to smash so the broadcast would be nothing but dead air… anything to stop those jinxing words from finding their mark – the mark, of course, being my win-wanting pitcher, C.C. Sabathia.

As soon as those words escaped the undiscerning mouths of the radio announcers, Sabathia allowed a hit and a run scored. And of course that couldn’t be the end of it… no, once again he managed to accrue a pitiful NINE earned runs.

What to do… what to do… I’m still hesitant to trade the guy, even if he HAS smashed all my hopes and dreams on the bats of opposing teams’ players. I guess for now, I’ll just stick him on the bench and wait and hope for a 180 degree turnaround. C.C. Sabathia? Ha! Try Sissy Sasuckia…

As a consolation, Rick and I walked up to the Walgreens on the corner and bought some Sissy Sasuckia Ice Cream. Blue Bell had a new flavor I’d never seen called “Mooo Tracks” or something like that. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate swirls and little peanut butter cups. It was pretty good, for regular old ice cream. Of course, Rick and I think differently about ice cream – when I want consolation ice cream, I’m thinking of something along the lines of Ben and Jerry’s… or possibly Haagen Dazs. You know, the really, really BAD stuff that tastes wickedly decadent and makes you feel immensely guilty as soon as the bowl is empty. I also like to try all the new flavors Ben and Jerry’s dreams up, with all the swirly stuff and bits of chocolate or caramel or marshmallow mixed in. Rick, on the other hand, is more of a chocolate chip guy. Plain vanilla, some chocolate chips, that’s it, he’s happy. Ice cream purchases generally take a bit of negotiation on my part, otherwise we’d always wind up with chocolate chip. I guess the “Mooo Tracks” ice cream was a compromise – not quite chocolate chip, but definitely not as interesting as the Ben and Jerry’s pint I had my eye on… (I believe it was called “Whirled Peace.” Peace on earth never looked so delicious…)

Anyway… Sabathia needs to get his act together, because I can’t keep eating cookies or ice cream every time he has a bad game. He can’t possibly be this bad all season… right???

Monday, April 14, 2008

If Dante played fantasy baseball...

Did everyone hear about the nearly-catastrophic-almost-curse that was placed upon the new Yankee Stadium? Some jokester buried a Red Sox jersey underneath the concrete floor of the visitor’s locker room. Crisis averted, however – construction workers with a jackhammer broke up the floor and removed the offensive article of clothing, ensuring that Yankee Stadium will remain untainted by Red Sox cooties…

Of course, now I wonder if that was such a good idea, for two reasons. First, I guess the motive behind that concrete-encased jersey in the visitor’s locker room was to jinx the Yankees – but then why wouldn’t you bury the jersey in the HOME TEAM’S locker room?? If you wanted to curse the Yankees with Red Sox cooties, wouldn’t you bury the jersey some place where the Yankees will continually congregate? If the jersey was under the floor of the visiting team’s locker room, wouldn’t it jinx the visiting team? And second – how do we know that forcing a Red Sox jersey to remain trapped in Yankee Stadium forever wouldn’t have jinxed the RED SOX? Think about it – a Red Sox jersey, eternally entombed within the hallowed halls of its most detested adversary… stuck, ensnared, unable to move – unable to run away from the thundering cheers of the Yankee crowd, or the chants of “let’s go Yankees,” or the banging pots and pans that Freddy the crazy fan brings with him to every game. It would be constant Red Sox torment.

In fact, if anyone’s ever read Dante’s Inferno (anyone? Anyone?? C’mon, it wasn’t THAT bad… quite interesting, actually…) you’ll remember that Dante’s interpretation of the ninth level of hell – the level reserved for the worst of the worst, where Satan himself spends eternity – was NOT the usual “burning fire” image we’ve all grown accustomed to. No, Dante envisioned the center of hell as a frozen block of ice – where the most evil beings in all of history were eternal ice cubes. And concrete is quite similar, actually – it’s cold, it’s hard, it traps anything within it in an unrelenting grip… it has to be jackhammered apart to release its prisoners. Honestly, I’m starting to think that the Red Sox jersey might’ve been better off in its tomb of concrete…

Meanwhile, I’m struggling with the fantasy baseball team FROM Dante’s ninth level of hell… okay, maybe the eighth level. I mean, it’s possible they COULD suck slightly more than they do, but realistically the only way to go from here is up. One of my fellow fantasy baseball-leaguers keeps attempting to bribe C.C. Sabathia away from me. Sabathia has been pitching like a nine-year-old girl scout with an arm full of unsold boxes of Thin Mints… so one might assume I am sick of the guy and wishing to get rid of him. But I see what’s going on here – it’s only a matter of time before Sabathia sells the rest of his girl scout cookies and can start focusing on his chosen profession once again. And when THAT happens, he’ll be back to pitching complete game shut-outs and racking up the points again. Obviously, someone is trying to take advantage of my understandable early-season frustration. But the guy was my first round pick, for pete’s sake – if I don’t have some faith in my first round pick, who CAN I have faith in??? (Where has our love gone, Sabathia? WHERE’S THE LOVE???) I don’t know – maybe someone buried a Red Sox jersey under Sabathia’s locker…

Come to think of it, maybe someone buried a Red Sox jersey underneath my new house in an effort to curse all of my fantasy baseball players… except that wouldn’t explain why RICK is doing so well right now. Unless…

Nah, he’s definitely a Yankee fan. Right? Yeah, of course he is. I think… :)

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I guess we won't be roasting marshmallows any time soon...

So this is the latest place Piva has decided to explore:

Yes, she has been climbing INTO the fireplace. She just slips in under that mesh curtain, and hangs out in the fireplace. What a weird little cat...

Fortunately, we rarely have a reason to use fireplaces here in Austin. Maybe, like, one or two days in January. There might be one or two days when it's genuinely chilly enough to think a roaring fire would be a cozy alternative to an empty fireplace. But it looks like we'll be skipping THAT alternative. I mean, unless we purchase an actual glass door for the fireplace -- something we can close securely, without worrying about our much-too-curious cat...

But in the meantime, obviously, I'll have to forego the s'mores...

Friday, April 11, 2008

Small accomplishment...

Well, the pitching duel that Rick and I had going last night turned out to be a rather good match-up -- meaning that neither one of our pitchers out-pitched the other. They were practically equal throughout the entire evening, each allowing one run by the time they left the game. Which meant that neither Rick nor I was credited with a win OR a loss -- we both got no-decisions. 21 points for me, and 19 for Rick. (Ha! So really, I DID win! In yer face! Uh, I mean... like I said, good match-up...) :)

So I spent most of today working on a project I've been meaning to start for the last few weeks. We bought a cabinet at Furniture in the Raw (an unfinished furniture store) that we can put a TV on in the work out room. (I've been listening to music on my iPod every time I work out on the treadmill -- which I don't actually mind, to tell the truth. But it IS nice to change things up once in a while.) And since everything at Furniture in the Raw is unfinished, you can either leave it unfinished, pay THEM to finish it, or you can attempt to finish it yourself. I chose the latter.

So here's the cabinet before I stained it:


And here it is after:

Not TOO bad, right? I mean, it's not perfect. I'm sure a professional could've done better. But for my first attempt at staining a piece of furniture, I think it's pretty decent. Plus, it's going in the work out room -- which is a great room for experimental furniture, since we don't really hang out in there with friends or anything.

Of course, now I feel like I've been inhaling toxic fumes all afternoon (oh wait -- I HAVE been inhaling toxic fumes all afternoon!). And I MAY have permanently stained half my left arm in the painting process... I'd better go see if this will come off with a good shower...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Hope springs eternal...

Not to jinx my entire fantasy team, but I’ve now gotten TWO saves in a row from Huston Street. (Okay, that’s it. I jinxed it.) My second closer, J.J.Putz, was afflicted with some sort of cartilage inflammation in his ribs – what kind of weirdo injury is THAT? Who gets inflamed rib cartilage? (Well, major league pitchers, I guess…) So I decided to pick up the guy who is pitching in his absence – and of course he immediately decided to blow a save. Sigh… But I am SLIGHTLY encouraged by Street’s recent performance, and the fact that my offense is picking up ever so gradually. Tonight, Rick and I have pitchers playing on opposing teams. So ONE of us will be disappointed after that game. (Judging from the past couple weeks, I’m guessing it’ll be me…)

Anyway… spring has definitely arrived in Austin. The bluebonnets have been popping up in every grassy field around the city, and thunderstorms have been popping up whenever they darn well feel like it. As long as they’re not spawning tornadoes, they’re not so bad. Although I’ve never been terribly fond of thunder and lightning, either. And it’s funny, because the WORST thunder and lightning storm I can remember in recent memory was actually in New Jersey – we got a thunderstorm one night that seemed to be full of non-stop lightning. Just one flash right after another. Rick thought it was great. I, however, was huddled on the stairs in the hallway, away from all doors and windows, waiting for it to stop. Yeah, spring storms are GREAT (that was sarcasm…).

I remember when we first moved to Texas, when I was nine years old, after I’d lived in Buffalo for my entire young life – we moved down here in February, when Buffalo, I’m sure, was still encased in a layer of ice and snow, and “spring” was a distant, far-off, wistful dream. It must’ve been cold when we left our house on Ivygreen Court for the last time… I can’t really remember. But what I DO remember was our first day in Austin, when we were temporarily housed in a Comfort Inn (or a Holiday Inn… or a Red Roof Inn… I don’t know… some kind of inn…). We had our dog, Sheba, with us, and she needed to go outside for a short walk, so I snapped on her leash and took her outside. I stood on a grassy area near the parking lot, overlooking the interstate, and marveled at the warm breeze and sunshine. For a kid from Buffalo, 80-degree weather in February was such a novelty.

At the time, I was probably thinking something like, “I could get used to this… Texas will be great!” And NOW, of course, every time February rolls around, I am once again lamenting the total absence of any sort of WINTER. I guess NOW the novelty is visiting Chicago during a snowstorm (“I could get used to this… Chicago will be great!”).

It’s a good thing that baseball always returns in the spring – whether it’s warm OR cold. If it weren’t for bluebonnets, thunderstorms and baseball, I would barely even notice the transition from “winter” to “spring” in Austin. Now if only my fantasy baseball team could transition from “sucky” to “awesome.” THAT would be a great way to welcome the spring…

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Three pitchers... zero points...

Yup… I played those three pitchers yesterday, and they got me a combined total of ZERO points. Negative one, plus negative two, plus three. Zeeeeeeero. And what happened with my team TODAY, you ask? Why, I’ll tell you – another blown save loss. Yippee! Half of what happens in baseball is pure luck – and right now I’m having the WORST luck possible. My team SHOULD be nowhere near as horrible as it’s playing at the moment – so I can only hope that the bad luck will eventually turn to good luck. I mean, if I’m starting out the year with all-around luck this BAD, I have to assume that at some point my entire team will collectively be on fire… uh, figuratively, of course. (Although at this point, I really wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if my entire team, did, in fact, literally catch fire…)

So what’s a girl to do when her fantasy baseball team is sucking as badly as mine is? That’s easy – make “My Team Sucks” Cookies! (Otherwise known as chocolate chip…)


Yes, I was keeping track of my points (or rather, lack of) this afternoon, and I kept glancing over at the remains of the chocolate bunny on my kitchen counter, and eventually I just had a great desire to chop that thing up into hundreds of little chocolate-y pieces and bake them into cookies. Normally, I would have attempted to reign in my chocolate craving and just have a bottle of water and a stick of sugar-free gum… but when I saw that negative 13 blown save loss, I decided a stick of gum wasn’t going to cut it. Nope. Definitely time for cookies.

All I can say is, my team had BETTER start scoring points, because I can’t keep making a batch of cookies every week…

Yum... a My Team Sucks cookie... gosh, I really hope my team keeps playing horribly so I can eat more cookies... (I wonder if reverse psychology works for fantasy baseball??)

Friday, April 04, 2008

Friday random thoughts...

Fantasy team so bad… no points… players don’t know how to hit baseballs… very bad… must… not… give… up… hope…

Note to Eric D. and any other pedometer-wearing people – I have 16,479 steps so far today. And it’s only a little after 5:00, so I anticipate a couple thousand more before the evening is over…

My evil bathroom scale has informed me that I need to get my eating habits back under control, as the number it displays to me has been slowly creeping upward over the last couple months. This, no doubt, is the result of our move and all the disorganized chaos that came along with it. I had been in a nice routine of journaling my food choices and saving my trips to restaurants for the weekends… plus I made sure to consume only ONE calorie-laden dessert on the weekends, ensuring I would reduce my never-ending chocolate cravings during the rest of the week. But when we started the whole moving process, it became so much easier (and less exhausting) to simply hop across the street to the new Z Tejas restaurant and order some chips and queso and spicy mac and cheese for dinner. Then I didn’t have to worry about the fact that our fridge hadn’t been delivered to the new house yet, or that I was tired from moving boxes all day. But running over to Z Tejas a couple times a week is a very bad habit to get into… and no trip to Z Tejas is complete without their ancho chili fudge pie for dessert… Sooooooo good. (And yet soooooo bad for you…) Anyway, enough of that. I’m back to food journaling and eating small meals at home. That evil scale will NOT get the best of me…

It’s sunny outside right now, for the first time all week. It has been depressingly gray and rainy the last few days, and I was really getting tired of it. Literally. I think clouds make me sleepy. I actually feel more wide awake when it’s sunny…

After making dinner and taking a couple trips up and down the stairs, I am now up to 17,821 steps…

Oh boy… I was somehow convinced (by Rick and several fantasy baseball websites) to start three pitchers tomorrow. If, by some miracle, they all do well, I might have a chance to crawl out of my tenth-place hole. However, if they’ve all heard the stories of the Lisa Curse, they may just give up before they even start. We shall see…

And speaking of baseball, we’re watching the Yankee game (6-1 Tampa Bay so far… what is it about Tampa Bay? They always manage to score so many runs against the Yankees…) and we’re watching it on our high definition TV. High def is great, but we’ve also noticed that sometimes, it’s a little TOO detailed. Like when you’re watching a baseball game and they show those close-up shots of sweaty players in the dugout, and you can see every single pore, freckle and blemish on their faces. That’s just NOT pretty…

Okay, have to go watch the rest of this game, because the Yankees appear to be staging a rally… GO YANKEES!!! (And go Lisa’s fantasy team!! Please…)