Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Brush and floss... and maybe try boxers next time...

So I had a dentist appointment this morning, to get a crown fitted for one of my night-grinding fractured molars. (Seriously, I think I grind my teeth more when I’m stressed, and it stresses me out to know I’m grinding my teeth – it’s a horrible cycle…) What a lot of fun THAT was. Actually, my dentist has iPod movies that you can watch on these little movie goggles, which is a nice distraction when you have fifteen pairs of hands in your mouth. Although honestly, really not ENOUGH of a distraction…

There were only about two dozen movies to choose from, and before he started, the dentist asked me which movie I was going to watch. “C’mon, you chose a chick flick, right?” he joked. I then held up the iPod to show my chosen movie – Live Free or Die Hard. The dentist was impressed with my departure from the girly entertainment that (apparently) most of his female patients choose. But I chose that movie for two reasons – one, because I’ve seen it before and I knew I wouldn’t be there long enough to watch an entire movie; and two, because action movies really don’t require much concentration. You don’t have to pay attention to an action movie so much as just watch it and think, “ooooo… cool…” when something explodes. Because while I may have been “watching a movie,” I was still much too concerned about what was going on in my mouth to really CARE about it.

But I survived (albeit with a very numb face… and while I’m grateful for Novocain when it’s needed, it gets a bit annoying after you’ve been home for three hours and just want to EAT like a normal person…). And the assistant at the dentist’s office always gives you flowers after they’ve spent an hour tormenting you. Which is a nice touch, even if it doesn’t bring the feeling back into my face…

When I first arrived at the office this morning, I took a seat in the waiting area and glanced over at the front desk, where a man was standing and talking to the office manager. I didn’t pay that much attention to him… but I did notice he was wearing a black leather jacket and a pair of black jeans. And then something between the jacket and the jeans caught my eye – he was wearing (and, unfortunately, displaying for all to see) a pair of Calvin Klein thong underwear. The waistband (with its prominent “Calvin Klein” logo) was a good two inches above the waist of his jeans, and the jacket wasn’t long enough to cover it. And I did what anyone would do when they noticed a guy wearing an obvious pair of thong underwear – I started laughing. I then had to cover my mouth and busy myself with my cell phone, in an attempt to appear amused by something completely unrelated to Thong Underwear Guy. But dude, seriously – if you’re gonna leave the house in a pair of thong underwear, please either a) wear pants that sufficiently cover all traces of thong fabric; or b) wear a shirt that is long enough to cover said fabric. For your sake AND the sake of those around you…

So I am now going to go drink the cappuccino my mom was nice enough to bring me… and hopefully my mouth has regained enough feeling so I can actually DRINK it…

4 comments:

Jannie Funster said...

OMG, I did not even know they made thongs for men. Oh Lord, I'd've gotten silly on the phone about that time too. Really, uproariously laughing at the funniest joke I'd ever heard coming from the person on the other end of the line silly.

And flowers?? Boy, have I been goign to the wrong dentist.

I've never gotten a crown.

had a tiara once, tho.

xo

Lisa said...

Yeah, I think there's a REASON that man-thongs aren't very popular... hope I don't see THAT again any time soon... :)

Cool, a tiara! I'd rather have a tiara than a crown... :) Apparently I grind my teeth at night, and the tooth in question had a fracture right down the middle... one wrong bite on an almond or an ice cube, and that baby would've been seriously damaged... Yikes...

Jannie Funster said...

Ow, on the tooth.

Apparently at night I grind wheat into flour, quite the sleep-walking multi-tasker am I.

wink, wink.

Lisa said...

Oh, that would be great! Fresh tortillas every morning! I bet you make lots of breakfast tacos... :)