One of the pins on my “places I want to go” map is pierced through the city of Agra, India. I’m sure there are plenty of places that would be interesting to visit in India, but Agra, of course, is home to the Taj Mahal. And if you’re going to be a tourist in India, you might as well visit the Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal, as the story goes, was commissioned by a Mughal emperor, Shah Jahan, for his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. She died after the birth of their fourteenth child (FOURTEEN? This woman had fourteen kids? And she never went insane and jumped off a bridge? No wonder she was his favorite…). According to the legend, while she was on her deathbed, Mumtaz asked her husband to construct a monument to their love. And so Shah Jahan, in the midst of his grief, rounded up thousands of workers to construct a grand tribute to love in white marble, complete with onion dome and minarets, to be the final resting place for his beloved Mumtaz (and, eventually, himself).
Of course, Shah Jahan was known to be a bit of a player, and had affairs with both Mumtaz’s sister AND sister-in-law. Not to mention the concubines and dancing girls he kept on hand at all times. So one has to wonder what it MEANT, exactly, to be Shah Jahan’s “favorite” wife. There is even some controversy as to whether Shah Jahan had anything at all to do with the construction of the Taj Mahal – some historians believe it had already been around for hundreds of years as a Hindu temple to Shiva. But for the sake of the “Valentine’s Day” theme, we’ll just stick with the love story legend…
It’s no secret that love inspires grand gestures. So it isn’t hard to believe that the Taj Mahal love story could be true. It wouldn't be the first time we'd heard of an extreme display in the name of passion. Love, or people’s perceptions of it, can result in some crazy behavior. Take that loopy astronaut who’s been in the news lately. She was so “in love” with her fellow astronaut that she drove across the country (wearing a diaper so as to avoid bathroom breaks, no less) with the apparent intent of kidnapping and/or maiming and/or killing the woman who was her “rival” in the astronaut love-triangle arena. Yeah, that just doesn’t seem right to me. I mean, maybe I’m just not very knowledgeable about the subtleties of seduction, but I’m pretty sure throwing on a diaper, stocking your car with pepper spray, ropes, and knives, and running off to kill the object-of-affection of YOUR object-of-affection is not the best way to endear yourself to him. If I’m wrong, I need to find out who Derek Jeter is with right now, and go buy myself a box of Huggies…
It’s interesting what we associate with “love.” Is a marble building – while beautiful and majestic, perhaps – really any indication of love? Is a five carat diamond necklace really a symbol of love? Is driving across the country like a crazy person really a show of love? (Obviously not…) I was once watching an episode of Scrubs (ah, the wisdom of Scrubs) where one of the patients was a beautiful woman who was married to a short, pudgy, badly-dressed, geeky-looking guy. In fact, one of the doctors accidentally called him a “hobbit.” And then the doctor asked the patient how someone as attractive as her had ended up with a guy like that. Her answer was simple: he had been the one who was always there for her when she needed someone.
The grand gestures CAN be nice, of course. I mean, who doesn’t like a huge box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day (hint hint), or something pretty and shiny and expensive, or a plane ticket to some place exotic, or a giant white marble mausoleum? But these things, on their own, are simply THINGS. And while “things” can certainly be nice, and thoughtful, and beautiful, the “things” and the “love” are two separate matters. The chocolate doesn’t last long (it’ll be lucky if it makes it to February 15…), jewelry loses its luster, vacations come to an end, and a beautiful marble mausoleum is, after all, just a building. In the end, when the onion dome layers have been peeled away, what are you left with? In the end, maybe it really does come down to simplicity rather than grandeur. Maybe it’s all about one simple question: are you there for me?
The chocolate is optional (but encouraged). :)
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