I just returned from the dentist, where my teeth were sandblasted to polished perfection. Or, you know, as close to perfection as they can get, I guess. My teeth were cleaned by one of those dental hygienists who likes to talk a lot and ask questions. So while she was cleaning each tooth, she kept saying things like, “so how long have you lived in Austin? Where did you move here from? Do you miss New Jersey? What do you like to do for fun?” Which prompted me to wonder, “am I getting my teeth cleaned, or am I on a date? Should I have dressed nicer? Will she be upset if I order the lobster? And when did I start dating girls? Rick is NOT going to like this… wait… actually, maybe he will…”
Of course, the date was over as soon as she told me I was flossing the wrong way. I think dental hygienists are so used to people NOT flossing that when they find someone who DOES, it throws them for a loop. They get themselves all psyched up for a good lecture, and then find out, “oh, you DO floss? Oh, well, uh, I think maybe you’re doing it the wrong way…yeah…” She asked for a flossing demonstration (honestly, how can anyone screw up flossing? Is it really THAT difficult??), and explained that I should be spending five seconds on each tooth. She then proceeded to floss my teeth in the exact same way I always floss my teeth. It’s a pretty standard tooth-flossing kinda motion. It’s not rocket science. It’s not an art. There’s no talent or intelligence needed. It’s a piece of string between your teeth. I think I can figure it out. Really. And, in reality, I am an OBSESSIVE flosser. I floss my teeth all the time. I’m flossing my teeth right now, while I type. So don’t tell ME I don’t know how to floss…
Anyway… on to other topics… I have to admit I was quite sad to see Sanjaya voted off American Idol last night. The quiet-haters finally had their loud, obnoxious say. Sanjaya’s pretty hair just wasn’t enough to save him. And actually, I think he’d been slacking on the hair the last two weeks. Last week he pretty much left it alone, and this week he simply covered it with a bandana. Such a far cry from the rooster-hawk hairdo of several weeks ago. And no, Sanjaya was not the best singer in the competition… but he also rarely deserved the absolute contempt shown to him by the judges and much of the media. But I wouldn’t worry about him – all of this “Sanjaya controversy” has made him the most talked-about singer on American Idol this season. He’s pretty much set if he ever wants some sort of entertainment career – whether it’s singing or something else. He doesn’t even need a last name. The entire country knows who “Sanjaya” is…
And Lost was sort of interesting last night. So now we know that Desmond DOES have a reason for calling everyone “brother” – because he used to be a monk. (And not a very good one…) He’s an ex-monk who now has visions of the future that do not bode well for Charlie. (I have a bad feeling about Charlie… he may not be back next season…) And another new character has literally dropped from the sky onto the island… that was rather weird. I was reading some “spoilers” about the show last night, and they said that hopefully Michael and Walt will be returning next season. Which would be good, because I always forget that those two were ever ON the show… I also tend to forget that Desmond was the guy pushing the button in the hatch for years… and I forget that Rose and Bernard haven’t even been on screen this season… and I’ve already forgotten what happened to Crazy French Lady after she saw Alex – has she been hiding in the bushes this whole time? Why did the Others capture everyone else who had been in that little search party, but Crazy French Lady just disappeared back into the forest? You know, when this show comes to an end, I’d really like one episode that is nothing but a big, giant explanation for everything… just so I’m totally clear on what happened…
So Nick and I were IMing about Sanjaya last night, and he said that he was overdue for a long, rambling comment on the blog. I told him I would look forward to his next comment, and then he said, “be careful what you wish for” in a rather ominous tone. I’m not sure if that was a threat or not. But whenever you feel like commenting, Nick, go for it. Like I said, I’ll be looking forward to it. I think… :)
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