Crunchy cake...

So Mardi Gras is coming up in a few days -- I imagine hordes of drunk people are already gathering in the streets of New Orleans, readying themselves for an onslaught of green, gold and purple beads. I've never been to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and although it seems like one of those things you SHOULD experience at some point in your life, I'm not sure I'd ever actually WANT to. Kind of like New Year's Eve in Times Square -- do I feel like I'm supposed to go there at least once in my lifetime? Yeah... it's a huge tradition in one of the best cities in the world -- I should probably go some day. But do I WANT to go? Um... nah. Not really. Crowds aren't really my thing...

One of the interesting (or maybe "weird") customs during the Mardi Gras season is the King Cake. The cake itself isn't weird -- having a traditional cake for any reason whatsoever (it's my birthday! it's Christmas! it's Wednesday!) is never weird -- in fact, the cake itself is quite yummy, with cream cheese filling and some sort of lemony, purple-, green-, and gold-sugared icing. It's what's baked INSIDE the cake that's a little bizarre -- it's customary to bake a small plastic baby into the cake, and whoever finds the baby in their slice of cake is said to have good luck that year (and they have the honor of baking the next King Cake). And maybe this particular tradition is well-known in the South, where Mardi Gras seems to be a bigger deal... but in the northeast, I don't remember anyone ever making a big deal about Mardi Gras or any of its accompanying culinary customs.

So imagine, if you will, a girl who has zero knowledge of the idea of a "King Cake." And one warm day in March (because this is in Austin, Texas, mind you), a co-worker brings a King Cake into the office and emails fellow employees to announce its arrival. So this girl, with her King Cake ignorance, wanders over to where the colorful, sugary ring-of-a-cake sits, and slices off a small piece to take back to her office. The first few bites are surprising in their deliciousness, considering this cake is completely devoid of chocolate. And then, all of a sudden -- CRUNCH. A disturbing, unexpected texture amidst the soft, buttery sweetness. But what is even MORE disturbing is when the girl reaches into her mouth and pulls out a plastic baby. A freakin' PLASTIC BABY. I mean, seriously -- what??? And for that matter -- why did no one WARN ME that there was a PLASTIC BABY baked into that cake?!? Maybe that little harbinger of good luck worked, because it's amazing that I didn't break a tooth...

That same co-worker brought in another King Cake the next year, only this time I knew to eat it carefully, inspecting every bite before diving in. And since then, I've seen recipes for King Cakes that call for a pecan or an orange wedge baked into the cake (with the plastic baby sitting outside the cake), so no one hurts their teeth on a little synthetic rug rat. Much better idea, if you ask me...

NOW you tell me...