So last night (shortly after Sylvester Stallone’s “Daylight” had ended…), Rick informed me that the movie Contact had just started on HBO. For years now, I’ve listened to Eric’s angry lament over the two and half hours he wasted watching that movie. In fact, when it first came out, I was hearing all kinds of people say it was a great movie, so after Eric saw it, I asked him what he thought about it. And I believe his exact words were, “if I had a choice between seeing Contact again and spending a week locked in a box, I’d take the box.” (Apparently this is why magician David Blaine is always burying himself and hanging himself from bridges and living underwater – someone is trying to make him watch Contact again…)
And Eric’s hatred spans beyond the movie itself – he has developed an acute aversion to anything that Matthew McConaughey has ever done, read or said. So I think this means that since Contact, Eric has never seen another movie staring Matthew McConaughey. Even MENTIONING Matthew McConaughey grates on Eric’s nerves – you might as well present him with a big mayonnaise sandwich with a side of potato salad and coleslaw.
My own impression of the movie wasn’t quite as harsh, although I could see why it’s not among Eric’s favorites. And even more than Matthew McConaughey (who wasn’t in the movie as much as I thought he’d be, considering the profound effect he had on Eric…), it was Jodie Foster who began grating on my OWN nerves. I’m not sure I’d be willing to lock myself in a box for a week, but I probably won’t be going out of my way to see the movie again.
At least Matthew McConaughey is a University of Texas fan… :)
This is Eric in the cabin in Montana, burning a copy of People Magazine with Matthew McConaughey on the cover... seriously, Eric, maybe some anger management classes would be beneficial...
Me on the phone...
Me on the phone in the crazy alien machine from Contact that sends you to another dimension... oooooooo.... (it's late... I'm getting tired...)
10 comments:
Here's a poem I wrote:
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Matthew McConaughy and Jodie Foster owe me $8.50 and those 150 minutes of my life back!!!!
I can relate, but my pet "aversion-actor" is Jim Carrey. I simply do not do Jim Carrey movies, and people tell me I'm missing out on good stuff. I'd be in the box for a week too, as long as I'm not forced to watched an endless looping reel of his movies while I'm in there! Abu Gharib wouldn't hold a candle to that.
...but I do find it hard to believe that someone could not like mayonnaise. Cripeys, sometimes I'll have mayonnaise sandwiches!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Have a mayonnaise sandwich
Tryyyyyy it; you'll liiike it!!
Wow! Now I'm a poet too! Thanks for teaching me that, Eric {smile!}
I sometimes check Lisa's blog, while I am at work, just to clear my mind and to get a laugh. This poetry thing reminded of a little poem i wrote...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hey Eric, remember when we were served raw chicken fingers at Little Joe's Montana, so we ordered burgers instead
and the burger you ate had mayo on it, but you didn't know until I told you the next day, and you were REALLY DISGUSTED...
...yeah, that was funny.
Okay, I just got back from being down in San Marcos all day, and logged on to see if there were any comments, and all three of you guys just made me laugh out loud... :)
Evydense, I think you've probably made my brother run to his bathroom for a swig of Listerine to remove the imaginary taste of mayonnaise from his mouth. :)
And Dave -- Eric actually ate mayonnaise without knowing?? Wish I would've been there to see that...
Eric, if I happen to see Matthew McConaughey hanging out in Austin any time soon, I'll ask him for that $8.50 he owes you...
:)
By the way, Dave, I thought of you this morning, because when I got my usual caramel latte from Seattle's Best, the guy warned me that he'd accidentally put a few extra shots of caramel in it. It was reeeaaaally caramely (I don't even think "caramely" is a word, but I'm using it anyway)... it was like the Dave Special. You probably would've liked it, but it was a tad too sweet for me... :)
Roses are PINK!
Violets are purple!
Good grief Eric (Evydense and Dave, too)
Your poems . . . don't rhyme! :-)
Ok, my turn -
Roses are yellow
Violets are white
I hate yellow jello
Y'all go fly a kite
(At least MINE rhymes!)
You want it to rhyme???
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Eric ate a burger with mayonnaise
and he never knew
It was better than raw chicken
even drenched in honey mustard
but when Eric found out he ate mayo
boy, was he disgusted
How's that Mrs. W?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If Eric had to pick between mayonnaise or sickness...he would surely pick the flu!
Dave and Kat,
You are so clever to make up things that actually rhyme! I'm impressed. You know, I could have made my little poem rhyme, but I didn't want to go THAT far!
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