Alphabetical disorder...

Rick and I went to vote this afternoon at our highly-organized, well-run polling precinct. As we approached the building, a shady-looking character emerged from the bushes and informed us that he was “So-and-So, and I’m running for comptroller – I’m the last bubble on the ballot.” Uh, okay. Yeah, now that you’ve explained to me which bubble to look for, I’ll be sure to vote for you…

We voted in the same building we went to last year, but things were set up differently this time, probably to better control the volume of voters. So instead of everyone standing in one line to sign in and collect ballots, there were four lines. Rick and I walked in and chose the second line… not for any particular reason, but just because that’s where we seemed to end up. The first line was actually much shorter, but, since the other lines were so long, we figured it must be some strange anomaly. Like a decoy line or something. I mean, if people were allowed to stand in that line and not the longer ones, then surely everyone would be choosing to stand in that one, right?

But eventually, we heard someone say that the first line was for last names between A and G. (Hey! We’re a B, so we get to be in the short line!) That was the first we realized there was an “alphabetical order” system set up. There were no signs anywhere to explain this system, so people walking into the building just had to guess what was going on. After a few minutes, it became apparent that the “guessing” thing wasn’t necessarily working out too well, so a woman behind the table stood up to explain it to everyone: The first line was for last names beginning with A through G; the second line was for last names beginning with N through Z; the third line was for last names beginning with H through M; and the last line was to pick up ballots.

Um, WHAT? The first line is A-G, the SECOND line is N-Z?? And the third line is H-M… uh, I realize it’s been a really long time since I took a refresher course in the alphabet, but let me see if I’ve got this right:

ABCDEFGNOPQRSTUVWXYZHIJKLM

Is that right? Wow, it really HAS been a while since I ran through the basics, because I could swear it was different when I was a kid. No wonder everyone in the building looked so confused…

I’m always a little hindered when it comes to voting past the fourth or fifth set of names on the ballot. The first few are usually people you’ve heard of – you’ve seen their ads, you’ve heard their stance on the issues, you’ve read about them in the news – so it’s easier to make an informed decision. But once you get past those few, you start running into names you’ve never heard of in your life… you get halfway down the ballot and start choosing candidates because they have honest-sounding names, or because you lean more toward one party over another… and then you get to the last bubble on the page and realize it’s the name of the guy who accosted you from the bushes, and you just don’t know what to do. (Actually, I DID know what to do… I didn’t vote for him…)

And then there are all those “propositions.” Proposition 219. Or Proposition 436. Or Proposition 324263 to the seventh power. Some of them are clear and understandable, and some of them are worded so strangely you don’t know WHAT you’re voting for. On today’s ballot, I voted “for” the propositions that said something about improving our roads (because Austin is in serious need of a decent highway system) and something about libraries. Because I like libraries. (Yeah, I’m very politically savvy.) And I voted “against” the propositions that mentioned anything about spending more tax money on schools. When I can look across the street and see the 20-million-dollar high school football stadium our school district just built, I can hardly justify voting for more money to be spent. Ever see “Friday Night Lights”? Because I can see them from my backyard every weekend… (Sheesh – my high school “stadium” was an empty field with a bunch of metal bleachers on both sides…)

But regardless of the confusing polling set up, and unknown candidates, and piles of propositions, it’s always good to know my opinion has been logged somewhere. Even if some of those opinions are less “opinion” and more “I hope I’m making the right choice.”

And I seriously need to brush up on my ABCs…