April will be here before you know it...

Yesterday, our fearless fantasy baseball league leader Tim sent us all an email. It was a copy of a poem that über-fanatic-Jack Bauer/24-devotee and fellow-fantasy-baseball-leaguer Greg wrote prior to the draft last year. Greg later replied with this: “Lisa needs to post this POEM on her blog. This is blog-worthy!!! Dang, I’m good.”

And, since I really had nothing terribly interesting rattling around in my brain today, I shall grant Greg’s wish and post his “POEM.” I should explain before anyone reads it that apparently there was a bit of an argument between Rick and Nick at the 2005 draft – I wasn’t in the league that year, so I missed it. But I guess there was some name-calling and probably some pointless angry banter, and I think Nick threw a drink in Rick’s face, and then Rick slapped Nick, and then Nick threw his pizza crusts at Rick, and then Rick pulled a cushion off the couch and whapped Nick in the head, and then everyone else joined in and they had a big pillow fight. At least that’s the way I picture it in my mind. Like I said, I wasn’t actually there…

But the point is, the Rick/Nick argument explains the last line of the poem, in case anyone was wondering about it. So here ya go – Greg’s Fantasy Baseball Draft Poem:

It's right around the corner….it's drawing very near;
Is your stomach in knots….is your heart filled with fear?
The day in which I speak will take place at Rick's;
It's Fantasy Baseball Draft Day, baby, 2006!!!

Let's start at the top with pick number one;
My guess is that Bone will take Poo and have oodles of fun.
But he hates the Cardinals for the obvious Astro reason;
He should probably just take Roy O. so he can enjoy this season.

The second pick is definitely a no-brainer for Ed;
Santana goes here….or he's sick in the head.
But I will applaud him and congratulate him because, heck, he's big!!;
And I will not poke fun at his pick because he could break me like a twig.

Blue has the 3rd pick, so who knows who will go;
He should be prepared for our reaction, which will probably be 'DOH!'
It might be A-Rod or Carpenter…who knows with this picker;
Hell, for all we know it might be a Zambrano named Victor.

Now we welcome the rookie with pick number four;
Could her strategy be dependent on how high the Yankees soar?
It's no secret she wants A-Rod, and beating her hubby will be her goal;
But if she takes RJ, hubby will say, 'Fine! Be an asshole!'

Never has there been a more apathetic pick than pick number five;
This poor soul is a wreck after last year's huge dive.
I honestly am baffled by who will be taken here;
The best strategy for Mr. Nick is to consume most of the beer.

Pick number 6 confuses me and causes me much grief;
Will they go starting pitching in the first and on the rebound take Relief?
Halladay, Oswalt, Pedro or Vlad?
Out of those incredible four only one could make me sad.

Now everyone views #7 as the worst pick in the draft;
And everyone assumes this pick will always get the shaft.
Cook won 3rd place money with this pick by using his head;
And I will win it all…Yes, 1st place…that's what I said.

I'll get straight to the point for pick #8;
There's no doubt in my mind that the player will be great.
The only problem with this pick is it makes me feel like fainting;
Because the only question now is who will Moran be tainting?

Near the tail-end of the order we have Mr. Cook;
Will he take a Jake, a Pedro, or even give RJ a look?
Every year Mr. Cook's draft is a draft to behold;
If he took Dewon Braezelton he would turn to gold.

Ahhh, the poem has finally come to pick number 10;
Can Jeter, Cano, Mussina, Posada, and Pavano allow Rick to win?
Rick we have one request this year that would diminish our gloom;
For the love of God, could you and Nick please sit on separate sides of the room?

So Greg, are you working on the 2007 poem? No rush… we still have a few months… :)