I have a sudden craving for cotton candy...

So I was flipping through my new issue of Shape magazine yesterday, skimming through the articles and looking at pictures and glossing over advertisements. And then, sandwiched between “Workout Express” and “Firm & Lean in Just 4 Weeks!” (yeah, right…) was an ad for Jennie-O ground turkey. I actually have bought this particular product before – not for me, but for Rick. (I have a rather strong aversion to any sort of meat that has been ground up and smashed back together into a big blob. I mean, how can you be certain nothing else is in that meat? Like a pencil, or silly putty, or a hairnet that fell off the sweaty head of some guy named Bruno… You don’t know – how COULD you know? Everything has been ground up and smashed back together into a big blob. And even if that meat blob is nothing but a big blob of meat, there’s no telling exactly WHAT sort of meat is in there…)

Okay, I got a bit off track… anyway… so I was flipping through my magazine and ran across this advertisement. And the more I looked at it, the more confused I got. I just – well, here, let me show you the ad:



Again, this is an ad for ground turkey. Ground turkey that can be used in lasagna recipes. Okay, I understand that. That part makes sense. But there are so many things about this ad that DON’T make sense. Let’s start with the model herself – was it really necessary to use a woman whose cheekbones are so sharp they look like they could slice right through that package of ground turkey? And what’s up with that sort of “come hither” look she’s giving the camera? It’s a piece of lasagna, lady… not a Victoria’s Secret ad…

But let’s forget about the model and just focus on what she’s wearing. Below the lasagna plate, she seems to be dressed in a conservative tweed skirt or slacks. Okay, seems reasonable. But ABOVE the plate, she’s decked out in some sort of ruffled, poofy pirate shirt, topped off with what looks like a red velvet jacket, complete with giant, oversized buttons. So while the bottom half is saying, “I’m off to an important business meeting,” the top half is saying, “please direct your attention to the center ring, and watch the man on the flying trapeze.” The bottom half is all prim and proper, and the top half is proud of itself for sneaking a jacket out of the circus clown locker room.

When I first saw the ad, I was so confused by this outfit that I almost didn’t notice the piece of lasagna on the plate. And that’s another problem with the ad – that piece of lasagna is HUGE. That piece of lasagna is bigger than that strange woman’s head. I’m assuming this is supposed to be a single serving of lasagna, and not the entire dish, since it is on a plate, and it’s paired with a nice little green salad (which practically disappears behind that giant piece of baked pasta…). I mean, that thing almost spans the waistband of those conservative tweed pants… it’s bigger than all of those monstrous clown jacket buttons put together… the ruffles in the lasagna are right on par with the ruffles on that horrible shirt. If you’re a person who’s trying to eat right and exercise (which tends to be Shape’s target audience), you probably shouldn’t be eating a slice of lasagna that could be used as a doorstop. I don’t know… maybe I’m being a little too critical. It’s just ground turkey. But I think the ad would have worked better if it was ONLY a picture of lasagna – the half serious/half flamboyant woman with the ridiculously high cheekbones is much too distracting.

Then again, I’m no marketing expert. I’m just a rather peculiar girl with an irrational fear of ground meats…