Number 100!

Hey, this is my one hundredth post! Cool... Gosh, there are so many people to thank... um, I'd like to thank the academy... (wait a second, I guess I don't get a prize for this, do I? :))

Wow – after all those poems yesterday, I’m thoroughly convinced that everyone I know is crazy. But crazy in a good way. Crazy in a “make life more interesting” kind of way. I suppose I should participate in this little poetry slam we have going here, huh? Okay, here’s my contribution:

There has been much discussion of the color of flowers,
And Eric’s aversion to mayonnaise,
McConaughey sends Eric under covers to cower,
But perhaps this is just a strange phase.

In Montana, Dave says, raw chicken was eaten
Followed quickly by mayo on a bun.
Eric ate it up – was his mayo fear beaten?
Nope – which makes it so much more fun.

Evydense says he likes mayo just fine,
And eats it on two pieces of bread.
Eric cannot even read such a line,
He thinks we’re all screwed up in the head.

Eric is at home, watching Conan O’Brien
When his door erupts with a knock.
His eye is at the peephole so he can start spying –
Matthew McConaughey is picking the lock!

Eric runs to the phone to call the cops,
Then realizes he’s already there.
Matthew cannot get in – he must be stopped.
(This poem is worse than “The Wedding Planner.”)

Suddenly Eric wakes up with a start –
It was just a dream! Afternoon malaise.
But the lunch on his plate causes a skip of his heart –
A half-eaten sandwich covered in mayonnaise!

Okay… so what else can I talk about? I think the Eric/mayonnaise hatred topic has pretty much been covered. :)

Well, I spent part of the day yesterday in San Marcos, which is about halfway between Austin and San Antonio. My friend Mary lives in San Antonio, and every now and then we meet up at the outlet stores in San Marcos. Which, to be honest, is more fun when you have some money to spend. But at the moment, I think most of my money is back in a chocolate shop in San Francisco…

I’ve known Mary since seventh grade, which would make her my oldest friend. (Not “oldest” as far as age is concerned… just “oldest” as far as the length of time I’ve known her… just making sure that’s clear. :)) Seventh grade was my last year in Texas (the FIRST time I lived here) before we moved to New Jersey (and since then, I’ve moved back to Texas, back to New Jersey, and back to Texas. I need to live in a different state…). I went to Georgetown Junior High School, where every single morning we’d listen to the vice principal read announcements over the PA system. He’d always end with, “let’s all have a good day here at Georgetown Junior High Schooooooooo…” The “L” would never materialize, apparently lost somewhere behind file cabinets full of student records. But it was perfect fodder for kids to hone their vice principal impressions to perfection… schooooooooooo…

I can remember loving science, art and English in seventh grade, and hating gym and math. I was rather indifferent towards history – Texas history, to be more specific. And I’ve always wondered if Texas is the only state that requires that students take a class about its own history. Do kids in South Dakota take South Dakota history? What about Oregon? Florida? California?? The thing about Texans is that they’re extremely proud of their state – Texas pride is like this little subset of American patriotism. Sure, Texans are proud to be American, but even more than that, they’re proud to be TEXANS. Every other state is like an inferior, second-rate state. And don’t get me wrong – I do love Texas, and especially Austin – but I don’t think it’s any better than a lot of other places. It might even be (gasp!) worse than a lot of other places. But people here are definitely proud of this state. The University of Texas even has a simple little slogan – “We’re Texas” – as if that just says it all. Of course, every time I hear it, I want to say, “well DUH… of COURSE you’re Texas – who else would the University of Texas BE? Rhode Island?” (Actually, it would hilarious if the University of Texas changed their slogan to “We’re Rhode Island.” I mean, really, how funny would that be? Everyone would be so confused… :))

So here are a few Texas facts I found floating around on the internet. I probably learned a lot of this stuff back in seventh grade, but then I moved to New Jersey, where NO ONE is proud of the state, and everyone secretly wants to be a New Yorker (actually, I really like New Jersey, too…)…

--Texas is the only state to have the flags of 6 different nations fly over it. They are: Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, Confederate States, and the United States.

This is where the Six Flags amusement park got its name, by the way.

-- The King Ranch in Texas is bigger than the state of Rhode Island.

Hey! There’s that Rhode Island thing again…

-- Texas is the only state to enter the United States by treaty instead of territorial annexation.

This is kind of interesting, actually, because it means that the Texas flag can fly at the same height as the U.S. flag. And along those same lines –

-- The capitol in Austin opened May 16, 1888. The dome of the building stands seven feet higher than that of the nation's Capitol in Washington, D.C.

Yeah! We’re Texas! We’re seven feet better than the rest of the country!

-- El Paso is closer to Needles, California than it is to Dallas.

Yeah, tell me about it – try driving from Austin to El Paso some day. That is one seriously mind-numbing drive…

-- Amarillo has the world's largest helium well.

Um, is this interesting? So I guess the point is that Amarillo is a great place for a birthday party?

-- More species of bats live in Texas than in any other part of the United States.

Okay, the bats are pretty cool – Austin has the largest urban bat colony in North America, under a bridge downtown. They fly out every night at dusk, forming this huge black cloud over the city, and they eat tons – literally TONS – of insects every night. Which means Austin has a lot fewer bugs than it should have…

-- Jalapeno pepper jelly originated in Lake Jackson and was first marketed in 1978.

Eewww – jalapeno pepper jelly?? I’ve never even heard of that. Jalapenos, sure – we have plenty of those around here. But why would anyone make jelly out of them? I guess it couldn’t hurt to try it on a slice of bread with a whole lot of mayonnaise… :)