Story time...

I went to Seattle’s Best this morning, as usual, for my very necessary morning coffee. And next to the register, they always have a plate of free samples – usually something from the glass pastry case, or maybe pieces of candy from the various selections piled up on shelves around the store. This morning, it was a cherry Danish. And, since I love cherries (see #29 on my “101” list), I couldn’t resist the offer of a free sample. I hadn’t even eaten breakfast, so I thought perhaps if the Danish was tasty enough, I might just buy one and take it home with me to enjoy with my coffee. And sure enough, the Danish WAS quite good – flaky pastry covered with sweet, sticky cherries, and maybe just a touch of cream cheese. The kind of indulgence that should probably never be considered a “breakfast” item, but hey, sometimes you’ve just got to live a little. I glanced over at the glass pastry case to find a perfect specimen of the “free sample” cherry Danish, and I noticed something – there wasn’t a cherry Danish in sight. In fact, the entire “Danish” plate was empty, save for a few straggling crumbs. Not even a leftover cherry. But – what about the free samples? They were free SAMPLES – doesn’t that imply that for the right price, you can BUY the entire, complete product you’ve sampled? Otherwise, they’re just, I don’t know… free pieces of cherry Danish. Free pieces of cherry Danish, no sample implied. Having a plate full of free-sample cherry Danish without actually offering an entire cherry Danish is like dangling a false promise of cherry Danish before the cherry Danish-loving consumers. Wow, I’m really having a craving for cherry Danish right now…

Speaking of false promises, I’ve been thinking, for some reason, about the Frank Stockton short story “The Lady or the Tiger.” Is anyone familiar with this story? It’s the story of a king who deals with criminals in a bizarre way – anyone charged with a crime is taken to an arena (I imagine a Roman Colosseum kind of place) and forced to choose between two doors. Behind one of the doors is a tiger – if that door is chosen, obviously the criminal will be having a very bad day. But behind door number two is a lady – and if this door is chosen, the “criminal” and the lady are immediately married and, I suppose, live happily ever after. So, basically, anyone charged with a crime has a fifty-fifty chance of either the death penalty or an acquittal. No life without parole, no community service, just sudden death or happily ever after.

Now, the princess in this kingdom is engaged in a love affair with a charming and handsome – but unfortunately lowly and poor – member of the king’s court. And, as these stories always go, the king finds out about it and highly disapproves. He disapproves so much that he throws the man in prison, and sets up a court date with the Fifty-Fifty Doors of Justice. The princess, meanwhile, so in love with her suitor, takes it upon herself to discover the secrets of those doors – she KNOWS which one conceals the lady, and which the tiger. So, when the fated day arrives, the entire kingdom gathers in the arena to watch as the man makes his choice. He looks up to where the princess is sitting with her colosseum-crazed father, and he watches as she very subtly moves her hand toward a door. He confidently strides toward the door she has indicated, and opens it.

And this is where the false promise comes in – usually, a story has an ending of some sort. But in the case of “The Lady or the Tiger,” that’s it. That’s how the story ends. It’s up to us, as logical readers, to decide whether the princess has led her beautiful paramour to certain death – or to a long, happy life with another woman. The pain of her decision is spelled out in the story:

“How often, in her waking hours and in her dreams, had she started in wild horror, and covered her face with her hands as she thought of her lover opening the door on the other side of which waited the cruel fangs of the tiger! But how much oftener had she seen him at the other door! How in her grievous reveries had she gnashed her teeth, and torn her hair, when she saw his start of rapturous delight as he opened the door of the lady! How her soul had burned in agony when she had seen him rush to meet that woman, with her flushing cheek and sparkling eye of triumph; when she had seen him lead her forth, his whole frame kindled with the joy of recovered life; when she had heard the glad shouts from the multitude, and the wild ringing of the happy bells; when she had seen the priest, with his joyous followers, advance to the couple, and make them man and wife before her very eyes; and when she had seen them walk away together upon their path of flowers, followed by the tremendous shouts of the hilarious multitude, in which her one despairing shriek was lost and drowned!”

She thinks of the tiger “often,” but of the lady “oftener.” So what was behind the door? I used to assume it was the tiger, because jealousy can be such a strong emotion, and many a foolish decision has been made because of it. But the story also touches upon the idea of love – real, true love – and would the princess be capable of sending the man she loved to death, simply because of her jealousy? (No, that’s not right!) Wouldn’t that mean she hadn’t loved him in the first place? (Yes – it must be the lady!) But what would her life be like if he was spending his happily ever after with another woman? (Miserable! Okay, it was the tiger!) Is it truly possible to be happy for a love interest who’s happy with someone else? (Definitely the tiger!) Does jealousy always trump true love? (Tiger! Tiger!) Or can love eventually win out in the end? (Okay, maybe it can. It’s the lady. Yes. It must be the lady.) And will anyone ever come up with a satisfactory ending to this story? Or will it always be like a “free sample” without a product to buy?

This is too complicated… I’m going to find a cherry Danish…