Thursday, August 10, 2006

Could we maybe have 10 percent humidity?

I was watching a show called “Airline” on A&E yesterday, which is sort of a documentary-type program about daily life in different airports around the country. One of the people they focused on was a guy who’d gotten the dreaded “SSSS” on his ticket, which meant he was subject to a secondary security search. So that’s when you take off your shoes (if you haven’t already), let someone pat you down, allow them to go through your bag, put your shoes back on, and go along your merry way. Nobody likes it, but if you fly often enough, it’s bound to happen to you sooner or later. But instead of simply dealing with it and moving along, this man decided to complain to anyone who would listen to him. He was yelling at the gate agents, and the people running the cameras, and the people waiting to board the plane. He felt like he’d been unfairly singled out – and no, he wasn’t of any sort of Middle Eastern origin… he was just a guy who happened to get “SSSS” on his ticket.

The first six or seven times I flew after 9/11, I was chosen for secondary searches an awful lot. But maybe everyone was – we weren’t used to the new “rules” yet, so everyone was in a period of adjustment. I was patted down repeatedly, wondering if it was just another random search, or if I honestly looked threatening in some way. (Did I have shifty eyes? Had everyone finally gotten wise to the “be careful of the quiet ones” admonition?) I was even patted down by a MAN in the San Juan airport in Puerto Rico, an indignity I didn’t give a thought to until I was back at home. (Me five hours later: Hey, that was a GUY!)

And over the last few years, I have perfected my airport security routine, to the point where I can breeze through practically unnoticed. Because that seems to be the key – if you can get through unnoticed, without drawing any attention to yourself, you’re more likely to be on your way to the gate sooner. So I prepare at home – I wear as much metal-free clothing as possible, like t-shirts and yoga pants (although jeans work just fine – the buttons and zippers don’t seem to set off the metal detector)… and definitely nothing with the word “underwire” in the description. Flip flops are good, because they’re easy to take off and put on – but that means walking around on an airport floor barefoot, where who-knows-how-many OTHER people have walked. So I like to wear socks, and shoes I can slip on and off easily. I wear a limited amount of jewelry, if any at all. I put my watch into my carry on bag so I can put it on as soon as I get through security. My carry on is simple and uncluttered, and I only carry ONE bag. All of this makes the routine simple – take the shoes off when waiting in line for the metal detector, place in plastic bin, make sure boarding pass is in hand, put bin and bag on conveyor belt, walk through metal detector with boarding pass – viola. That’s it, I’m on my way. The simplicity of airport security seems to escape so many passengers that I actually got a “good job!” from a TSA agent by a metal detector in O’Hare Airport last time I flew out of Chicago. She was so harried from repeatedly telling people to take their shoes off and to hold their boarding passes, that she was actually impressed by someone who could do those things without being told to do them.

And then this morning I wake up and hear the news about the terror plots they uncovered in Britain – how they were planning on using liquid explosives to blow up planes flying to the U.S. Which means, of course, that in addition to the “no knives, no scissors” rule, we’re now faced with a “no liquids of any kind” rule. NO liquids. No water, no Gatorade, no hair spray, no hand lotion, no contact lens solution. Part of my “simple and uncluttered” carry on is always a little bag full of travel essentials. At least they’re essential to me. These include: lip balm, hand lotion, a travel brush, a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer, earplugs, contact lens rewetting drops and an extra case, a tube of lip gloss, and a bottle of The Body Shop’s Vitamin C Energizing Face Spritz. Yes, this stuff is essential. I mean, I don’t go around spritzing my face normally, but do you know how DRY it gets on airplanes? It’s like 3 percent humidity! Which also makes the hand lotion, contact lens drops, and lip balm completely essential. The hand sanitizer is a MUST, because everyone knows the water on planes is bound to contain E. coli – not to mention the fact that planes themselves are just great big germ incubators. But with these new restrictions, I’m down to lip balm, a brush, earplugs, and a useless contact lens case.

And don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining about the decision to not allow these things on planes. I’m just complaining about how difficult it is to thwart the plans of people determined to kill all of us. I mean, in thwarting THEIR plans, we all have to willingly thwart our own, perfectly innocent plans. Like my plan to kill all the E. coli in the airplane bathroom. But any time you travel and arrive at your destination safely, you have to be grateful. Which is why I never complained about those pat-downs. Even the guy in Puerto Rico (seriously – that was just wrong…). Because most of this stuff is just minor inconvenience, in the grand scheme of things.

There are much worse things than arriving at my destination with dry eyes, parched hands, and a possible case of the flu…

5 comments:

Evydense said...

I think I've just discovered the key to Nirvana. This is the third blog I've visited today that has made a reference to the British plot...and I have absolutely no idea what it's about. The best part is ..I DON'T CARE. I'm through worrying about something I can't control. I'm through being fear-mongered to death. When my time comes, it comes. If it comes violently through terrorism, then this isn't a world I want to live in anymore anyways. Checking someones flip flops at a metal detector doesn't increase my comfort level one iota.

I don't watch the news much anymore. You may have gathered that! I figure it's good for getting out of a depressed state.

Anonymous said...

Sure....that's easy for you to say Evydense...you're a superhero!

Anonymous said...

I am not fearful of being taken out by terrorists either. If God thinks it's my time to go, then it's my time to go. I just like to keep up with the latest happenings, because it interests me.

And...no dignified girl can have dry eyes and parched hands!! I hear ya sister. ;)

Evydense said...

Kat, I normally would be with you all the way: I ALWAYS have an opinion < smile! >

My situation now though is a bit different. About 3 and a half years ago, I was diagnosed as bipolar (manic-depressive), when I had my first full-blown manic attack. I had absolutely no idea what was happening to me, and ended up in the hospital for about a week. I've been hospitalized twice more since then for the same thing, (but not for over a year and a half now, touch wood). One peculiar thing that I noticed for the three biggies, as well as smaller sessions called hypomanic attacks, they always have coincided with major upheaval in the world (your last 50-50 presidential election at the peak of the Iraqi crisis, our political crisis with the government being found guilty of having slush funds for their buddies, giving them million dollar contracts for no work done and so on. Normally, that would be about as disgusting as it would need to get, except it also had a connection to our very sensitive English-French dichotomy, and got a bit ugly. The third was the Tsunami at Christmas time). In my mind, during those intensely topped-out periods, I am totally confident that I have had the inspiration and applied the right logic to develop the working solution. Then I get frustrated when no one will even listen. That's typical when the brain is that diassociated.

Well, I'm at the lower levels of the beginning of a new mania visit as we speak, so I'm trying to "biofeedback" it to death if I can. It may not make a difference, but since I have noticed the correlation, and there are things like Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan (most all of whom are based out of Edmonton here where I live, because it is one of the largest bases), Iraq about to be abandoned worse off than it was before the invasion started, the Middle East crisis, Darfur, Aids in Africa (there was an international aids conference in Toronto this weekend so it was on my mind)...well, it all builds up and I feel responsible for it in a sense (I mean, I know I'm not...but when I'm manic I do).

I also tend to write incredibly fast and non-stop (this note is an example!), because my thoughts race, and I try to record them all before I lose them. Often what gets written doesn't make a whole lot of sense a few days later, but when I wrote it....stand aside Magna Carta and Constitution..the new boy has arrived!

I tend to leave long comments on blogs too! Sorry!

Have a great weekend everyone. I truly do enjoy having vicarious chats with your family you know that?

And unfortunately, I'm only a super power in trainig! I don't get the tights until graduation!

Cheers everyone!

Anonymous said...

Evydense...that makes complete sense. And honestly, too much news over terrible things happening in the world can leave me feeling a bit down too. I am not saying I understand, because I don't. But I can see where you are coming from! It's good that you know what the triggers are.

I have always enjoyed reading your comments..long or not.