Want fries with that shake?

Rick and I went out to eat last night, to the same Fuddrucker’s where I once stole a milkshake. (Fortunately, they’re still not on to me, so the “wanted” posters aren’t up yet.) After we ate, we once again ordered a couple milkshakes (yes, we paid this time – we paid when we ordered our meal, and then picked them up on the way out). As we were standing by the counter waiting for our shakes, Rick was telling me that my arms are looking better lately. All that walking and jogging and weight lifting is having an effect, apparently. (And no, nobody has to tell me about the irony of talking about the benefits of exercise while waiting to drink a milkshake…) Then he mentioned that I should wear more skimpy, strappy tops, emphasizing his point by staring at a couple girls walking by who were wearing skimpy, strappy tops.

Not two minutes later, a guy walked past us, and according to Rick (I never notice this stuff myself) he looked at me as he walked by, then turned around and looked again, this time doing some sort of “top to bottom evaluation” ogle. And when Rick told me this, my first reaction was to be just a bit flattered:

Me: Did he look like he liked what he saw?

Rick: Well he didn’t make a nasty face or anything…

Me: Yes! I’m totally hot!

But my second reaction was one of slight insecurity. Like I said, I never notice guys looking at me, although I’ve been told I do attract an occasional glance. So if this guy made a point to turn around after he’d passed me so he could check out my butt (NOT my best feature… probably my WORST feature…), how many OTHER guys have been doing the same thing?

Rick’s reaction, on the other hand, was a little different:

Rick: I can’t believe he looked at you when I was standing right here. He saw you were with someone. I was standing RIGHT HERE!

Now, I saw this reaction as a bit of a double standard. As I mentioned, not too long before this guy walked past us, Rick had been watching a couple girls walk by, and I, also, was “standing right there.” So, let me make sure I have an understanding of the rules of ogling – it is acceptable to look, as long as the lookee does not appear to be in the company of a significant other. However, if the looker is in the company of a significant other, said significant other must accept the looker’s looks directed toward the lookee. Did I get that right?

I suppose I should mention that I’m really kidding about this… I’m honestly not one of those girls who can’t handle the fact that guys look at other women – even when they’re with their own wives or girlfriends. And I’m also not so self-righteous that I can’t admit that girls do the exact same thing. We’re all human beings, and humans notice certain things about each other. Doesn’t mean we’re going to go running after someone who catches our eye. It just means we appreciate things that look nice. Like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Or a field of wildflowers. Or a great sunset. Or Derek Jeter. Appreciate the beauty, that’s all I’m saying…

But men and women DO seem to have different ogling styles. I, for instance, would never make a point to look at a guy and then turn around once I’d passed him to check him out from another angle. If, however, I happened to be standing in a line at the movies and he was already in front of me, well, he’d already be THERE, you know? In other words, girls are much more subtle about the whole thing. This is why you always hear about girls who hate the fact that their boyfriends and husbands are staring at other women, but you never really hear it the other way around. Guys make it so much more obvious. If they learned to be subtle, like their wives and girlfriends, then everyone could pretend like no one ever looks at anyone else…

Of course, as I said before, I never really notice the “obvious” stares of all those guys out there who are comparing me to the Sistine Chapel and a sunset. But just in case it happens again, I need to go walk on the treadmill for a while… on an incline…