Argh! The milk steamer at Seattle’s Best was broken this morning, so I was unable to get my morning latte. Oh wretched technology, thou hast enticed me with assurances of perfectly-steamed lattes and lured me into a trap of dependence. Curse you and your false promises! Uh, sorry… got a little too melodramatic there. That tends to happen before my morning caffeine fix. I just made my own coffee, so everything should be fine now…
So last night I saw this ad for Walgreens, in which a bunch of toys strewn around a Christmas tree start moving, apparently infused with some sort of artificial life. A doll’s eyes pop open; a stuffed horse starts shuffling across the hardwood floor; a little action figure walks up to the fireplace mantle. And then they all wrap themselves up for Christmas morning. Now, let me make this very clear: toys that come to life are creepy. Always. They are always, ALWAYS creepy. I don’t care if you place them in a Christmassy setting and play cheerful holiday music in the background. I don’t care if they have smiles on their creepy little faces. If they are MOVING, of their own accord, that’s just WRONG. It’s even creepier if the toys in question are clowns. Or marionettes. And marionette clowns are the worst of all.
What’s funny is that I saw this ad during a commercial break in the middle of The Polar Express. I never saw that movie when it was in theaters, but I’d heard a lot of criticism for the somewhat “soulless” quality of its characters. It was one of those films that was created by sticking little sensors all over live actors, so their exact movements could be translated into digital imagery. The problem, of course, is that facial expressions – not to mention the signs of “life” in people’s eyes – are often so subtle that they don’t register on all those little sensors. As I watched the movie, I could immediately understand what the critics were talking about. All the characters in the movie exhibited plenty of movement – running and jumping and falling and riding on a runaway train – but their FACES were remarkably absent of movement, and their eyes were quite, well, vacant. When the little boy runs out of his house on Christmas Eve and sees a train right in his front yard, it’s reasonably expected that he’ll gaze upon it with a look of wonder or amazement or fear or puzzlement. Anything. Any kind of emotion at all. Instead, he runs out of his house and looks up at the magic train with what can only be described as “complete indifference” on his face. And the rest of the characters were exactly the same way. It was like watching a movie about a bunch of bored, disinterested, possibly blind, slightly brain-damaged kids.
And then, as if soulless children weren’t creepy enough, when the Polar Express finally reaches the North Pole, there’s a bizarre scene where three of the kids get separated from the rest of the group. They wander around the totally deserted streets of what I assume is the “elf village,” as a scratchy recording of old Christmas tunes plays over loudspeakers. I can’t even explain how eerie and strange this scene was, and as I watched, I fully expected a deranged elf to pop out of a dark alley and drag the soulless children away. In fact, when that DIDN’T happen, I was really confused as to why the whole thing had to be so creepy to begin with…
I was a little disappointed in the movie, especially since The Polar Express is one of my favorite Chris Van Allsburg books. Back when I worked in the Sparta Public Library in New Jersey, Friday afternoons I was in charge of the children’s section. When things got slow, I would read the only books I had available – kid’s books. I soon discovered that of all the books I had access to, Chris Van Allsburg was one of the most creative and interesting writers/illustrators. Granted, his books at times DO have a rather surreal quality to them – but there’s a fine line between surreal and downright creepy. And I think the movie may have crossed that line…
But what do I know? I haven’t even had enough coffee yet today…
No comments:
Post a Comment