Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I coulda been in Bermuda by now...

Our journey back to Austin yesterday began with such promise. It was a beautiful, clear, sunny day in Buffalo, and we arrived at the sparsely-occupied airport with plenty of time to spare. The woman at the check-in counter barely noticed Rick’s expired license (“Did you know your license is expired? Here’s your boarding pass…”) and we breezed through security in about two minutes, neither of us in possession of any forbidden objects. Our flight from Buffalo left right on time, we had a smooth, uneventful flight to Chicago, and landed early. And that was about when the good fortune stopped…

It was taking us an exceptionally long time to taxi to the gate, and we came to a complete stop several times for unknown reasons. At one point, I looked out my window and noticed what appeared to be a conga-line of planes waiting to take off. I told Rick I had a bad feeling about getting out of Chicago on time. But we had a good hour-long layover, and perhaps things would be moving more smoothly by the time we boarded our plane.

Inside the terminal, travelers and luggage and annoying little motorized people-moving carts were everywhere – it was a total contrast to the wide-open space of the Buffalo airport. Waiting in line at Starbucks was like waiting to ride Space Mountain at Disneyworld. But I suppose this should be expected in a busy airport like O’Hare on Memorial Day weekend. We managed to get some coffee and some food and found two empty chairs by the window at our departing gate. As I sipped my coffee and watched a 747 pull into the gate next door, I was noticing a very slight, subtle change in the light outside. It was still sunny, and I could still see plenty of blue sky, but off in the distance was a hint of a gray cloud bank. Before I even had a chance to mention it, Rick said something about how Chicago was expecting thunderstorms. (Rick knows that I hate any mention of approaching thunderstorms, so he likes to mention them as much as possible…)

The rest of our journey went something like this:

3:30 – We board our plane right on time, and settle into our seats. Airplane seats are never the most comfortable places to sit, but hey, it’s only a two and half hour flight to Austin, so no big deal. Before the flight attendants have even shut the door, the man in front of me is napping. Every few minutes, he’ll start snoring loudly and wake himself up, at which point I imagine he must have a “where am I? what am I doing here?” look on his face.

3:45 – We have pulled away from the gate and taxied toward the conga-line. I’m dismayed to notice it’s still there.

3:46 – Captain So-and-So: Well, folks, right now it looks like we’re fiftieth in line for take-off. (Did he say fifteenth? Or FIFTIETH??) We’ll get you out of here as soon as we can, but right now we have fifty planes ahead of us. (Uh, yeah, that was definitely fifty…)

4:01 – Captain So-and-So: Uh, well, it looks like they’re shutting down the south-bound runway because of some bad weather to the south of us. They’re still allowing planes to take off to the west, but right now we’re unable to go south. So it looks like we’ll be sitting here for a little while. I’m going to go ahead and turn the engines off. If you need to get up to use the bathroom or walk around, go ahead. I’ll let you know more when I hear from the tower…

4:18 – Snoring guy is still happily oblivious to our unmoving plane. I start to wish I was one of those people who can fall asleep anywhere. Like Rick. Rick could fall asleep on a cot in the middle of an interstate next to a busy railroad track…

4:39 – I start listening to the conversation going on behind me, between a man from Austin and a woman heading to Austin on business. I can’t tell if the man is flirting or simply being nice, but he does manage to find out what hotel the woman will be staying at… he then pulls out a computer or a PDA or a phone (I can’t turn around to see without being REALLY conspicuous) that can display weather forecasts, and starts talking about the storm heading our way.

4:59 – As I look at the blackening sky, I realize that I don’t WANT to take off right now…

5:05 – The plane starts to move, but we aren’t actually moving. We’re bouncing around like we’ve hit turbulence, yet we’re still on the ground. Flirting Guy behind me shows off his meteorology knowledge to Business Woman next to him by explaining that the storm front is hitting us – and when I look outside, I see blades of grass blown horizontal by the force of the wind.

5:15 – As it starts to rain, Captain So-and-So speaks again: Well, folks, you can feel that the plane is getting bounced around a little bit from the storms moving through. Basically, at this point, the airport has been shut down. They’re not allowing flights to take off or land right now. We apologize… I know this isn’t how you wanted to spend your Memorial Day. I’ll let you know more as soon as I hear anything.

5:35 – Plane seat that didn’t seem so bad at first is beginning to feel less comfortable. Business Woman tells Flirting Guy that she’s been craving Indian food, and he tells her that all the Indians he works with swear Bombay Bistro near the Arboretum is the best Indian food in Austin. I make a mental note of this so I can try it sometime…

5:55 – The sky to the west of us appears to be clearing, and I can see slivers of sunlight slicing through the clouds. Flirting Guy strikes up a conversation with a flight attendant, showing her his spiffy weather forecasts, and predicts we’ll be moving within a half hour.

6:05 – Through the metal cocoon I’m trapped in, I can hear the sound of engines roaring down a runway. Planes are taking off again.

6:07 – Captain So-and-So: Right now, the tower is clearing a few planes to take off to the west. They’re still not letting anyone go south, but they’re plotting some re-routes and allowing planes to take off to the west, where they can head for a more southerly route once they hit the Mississippi. Uh, we should be able to get a route out to the west, but the tower won’t talk to us until we’re about ninth or tenth in line for take-off. Let you know as soon as I hear.

6:18 – The weather behind us seems to be clearing quite nicely. The sun is out again, and the runway is already dotted with dry patches. Snoring Guy is finished with his nap, and Flirting Guy has managed to shut up and mind his own business. My seat is starting to feel like it was constructed of plywood.

6:30 – Captain So-and-So: Um, well, folks, just a little bit more bad news – one of our competitor’s planes in front of us has lost its auxiliary power and is unable to start its engines. They’ve already called a maintenance crew to come out and tow it off the runway, but unfortunately we can’t go anywhere until it’s out of our way. So, as soon as they move the plane, we should have a better idea of when we can take off.

6:49 – I start to wonder if a plane has ever run out of gas from sitting on a runway for too long.

7:01 – Rick, who, up until this point has been reading a book, announces that he’s thinking about pulling out his iPod. MY IPOD! I have completely forgotten that my iPod has been sitting patiently at the bottom of my carry-on for the last three and a half hours, and it happily would have provided me with entertainment to pass the time. Instead, I have been dividing my time between a book, magazines, staring out the window at the lovely O’Hare landscaping, and eavesdropping on conversations around me. I also have, at this point, sent about twenty text messages to various people. (What did people do when they were trapped on planes before cell phones and laptops and iPods?)

7:05 – We’re moving! Slowly but surely, we inch our way up the conga-line. Thank goodness, because I am absolutely certain, at this point, that my seat is filled with jagged rocks.

7:15 – Captain So-and-So: Well, it looks like we’re first in line for takeoff on runway (insert random number of runway here), but I’m not sure where we are overall. But we’re definitely close, so I’m going to ask the flight attendants to prepare for take-off.

7:16 – I’m forced to turn off the iPod that I’ve only been listening to for fifteen minutes.

7:30 – At last, after four hours of sitting in a plane on a runway, we are airborne. Amazingly, my seat immediately feels less uncomfortable.

So, all-in-all, including our flight from Buffalo, we spent about nine hours on planes yesterday just to get back to Austin. That kind of time could’ve been spent flying some place much cooler, like London or Hawaii. Oh well… as I was saying on the plane when the storm was blowing through – I’d much rather sit on the runway and be sure to arrive safe, than fly in a storm like that and take chances.

And besides, if our flight had been uneventful, I might not have had much to blog about today…

Flying around the storm -- how can something so fluffy cause so much trouble?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a fun ride home! I envy those people that can sleep anywhere too. I try to be like that, but it just doesn't work. I am always afraid I will start drooling or saying something strange in my sleep. Anyways, glad you guys made it home safely!

Lisa said...

Thanks Kat! Yeah, that guy in front of me apparently had no worries about snoring loudly amongst his fellow passengers. I know what you mean about the drooling and talking in your sleep -- plus you have to worry about kids trying to toss their complimentary peanuts in your mouth. Yeah, it's just too hard to sleep on a plane... :)

Anonymous said...

Yep, you shoulda stayed in Buffalo. It was absolutely beautiful here - sunny, 85-90 degrees, no rain in sight, and great leftovers!

Anonymous said...

Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.
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