Extremely important questions (just kidding)

One of the popular things to do with these blogs seems to be to fill out little random question queries. Presumably so people can learn even more strange things about you than you’ve already revealed within your blog. So here’s one such list of pointless, rambling questions. Hopefully by the end, everyone will understand me just a little bit more…

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and write down line 4.

“You return empty-handed, tailor! How could this be?” From the book I’m reading now – Tokyo Cancelled, by Rana Dasgupta

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

Uh, is this supposed to be some kind of pre-quiz workout? And stretch two three four… now the right arm! Okay, I think I’m ready for the rest of this…

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Watched the end of the English Patient on Cinemax last night… I don’t know why… that’s one of the most depressing movies ever.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?

10:45

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

10:49… Ooooo… so close.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Actually, I can’t hear the computer because I’m listening to my iPod… I’m on Gavin DeGraw’s “Chariot” right now…

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Went to Seattle’s Best for my usual morning caramel latte…

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Um, I dunno… checked my email… checked my baseball lineup… looked at the menu in Seattle’s Best even though I practically know it from memory (and I get the same thing every day anyway, so why would I look at it?).

9. What are you wearing?

I’m not sure I know you that well, Mysterious Asker of Questions…

10. Did you dream last night?

I dream pretty much every night, and I can usually remember at least a couple of the dreams I dreamt… but nine times out of ten, they make absolutely no sense…

11. When did you last laugh?

Um, haven’t really been keeping track… yesterday some time, I suppose. Perhaps after visiting Austin’s annual Showcase of Homes and heading back to the parking lot with four dozen other home viewers on a shuttle bus designed for three dozen people. So the dozen of us who were unlucky enough to make it to the bus after if was full were told (by a driver who no doubt will be losing his license soon…) that we should simply stand in the aisle. Which made for an “interesting” ride back to the parking lot. The floor underneath my feet kept squeaking ominously, as if it were planning on falling away and introducing me to the asphalt. I’m just glad we didn’t have to travel on any steep gravel roads, because who’s to say whether that overloaded bus would’ve stayed on the road and avoided tumbling over the side?? And while it wasn’t necessarily all that funny at the time, as soon as we were safely back at the parking lot it was HILARIOUS…

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Well, I’m looking into the kitchen, so mostly cupboards…

13. Seen anything weird lately?

I saw Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible III – does that count?

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Eh… I’ve seen better…

15. What is the last film you saw?

Uh, that would be Mission Impossible III. Duh.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Plane tickets to everywhere… hotel rooms everywhere… and maybe a snowglobe from everywhere… so I could have a big set of shelves in my house full of snowglobes from everywhere, and people would come in and be like, “where’d you get THIS one?” And I could say, “oh, that’s from Uzbekistan.” And perhaps next to the shelves, I’d have a giant map – the kind of map you could cover with pushpins to signify the places you’d been. So my map would be covered with multicolored pushpins, because I will have been everywhere. As would be evidenced by my snowglobes, of course…

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.

Um, I like to dip French fries in mayonnaise… most people seem to think that’s gross…

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

That’s a difficult question… I guess I’d love it if everyone could understand that people are people, no matter what they look like or what they believe. And each person, individually, is unique – so assumptions can not be made based on the superficial. The superficial things mean nothing – what matters is what KIND of person you are. The world spends way too much time and energy dividing itself over ridiculous things…

19. Do you like to dance?

Only if no one is watching. But Rick swears he has hidden cameras all over the house, recording my Shakira-like dance moves for everyone on the internet to see. I believe the address is www.dancelisadance.com

20. George Bush.

Um, what’s the question here, exactly? And are we talking Sr. or W? Are we talking about the one who CAN pronounce “nuclear” or the one who can’t? And can someone tell me why, exactly, no one in George W’s entourage has ever just gone up to him and said, “Mr. President, with all due respect, it’s pronounced NU-CLE-AR??”

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Hey You…

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

C’mere… It would just save all kinds of time when I wanted them to come into the house if they were outside – “Hey You! C’mere!!”

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Absolutely.

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

“Okay, lemme explain all of THAT to you…”


Now isn’t everyone glad I answered all those questions? Everything makes so much more sense now, right? No? You don’t think so? Nah, me either… :)