Sleep tight...

Has anyone seen that episode of “Friends” where Phoebe’s smoke detector starts to beep annoyingly in the middle of the night? She pulls it off the wall, and the beeping stops long enough for her to return to her bedroom. And then of course it beeps again. So she takes the battery out. That should definitely stop it, and she returns to bed. And then, of course, the completely powerless smoke detector emits yet another high-pitched squeak. By the end of the episode, Phoebe has smashed the entire thing with a hammer (still beeping), wrapped it in a blanket, and tossed it down the garbage chute, where it’s eventually discovered by a fire fighter who brings it back up to her apartment.

It’s a really funny episode, unless you happen to actually be living the same sort of thing. Fortunately, it’s not QUITE as difficult to deal with in real life. But one of the most annoying noises you can come across is the random ear-piercing screech of a smoke detector with a low battery. Last week, I thought I heard this tell-tale noise in the middle of the night, but after lying perfectly still in total silence for several minutes and willing the alarm to be silent, I fell back to sleep without hearing another noise.

But the next day, a sudden high-pitched beep ended the question of whether I’d actually heard that same sound in the middle of the night. So Rick climbed up on a stepladder, detached the smoke detector, and switched out the battery, at which point the high-pitched beep continued its tenacious whine. I should mention that our house not only has smoke detectors, but carbon monoxide detectors, as well. There’s one of each in the hallway outside the bedroom. So Rick went back up the stepladder, removed the carbon monoxide detector, and changed that battery, as well. Finally, we were granted silence.

Until about 24 hours later, when yet ANOTHER smoke and/or carbon monoxide detector began to beep. It’s a good thing we were stocked up on batteries, otherwise there’s a good chance I would’ve gone completely insane at some point. But, I’m happy to report that all batteries have been replaced, and the seemingly-interminable beeping has stopped. For now. At least at MY house. Because earlier today, my mom called and wondered if I knew how to detach the smoke detectors from the ceiling, since she’d been hearing an intermittent screech all day and was trying to guess which detector needed a battery. And, after she’d removed three smoke detectors from the ceiling and still heard beeping, Rick and I went over to see if we could help and we realized she hadn’t removed the carbon monoxide detector. Mom, however, wasn’t as stocked up on batteries as we were – so hopefully she didn’t succumb to carbon monoxide fumes overnight…

And on a completely different subject – I was just in the bathroom, where we have a big glass block window over the tub. It’s the kind of window that lets light in, but you can’t see through it clearly. I had just washed my hands and turned around to grab a towel, when I noticed that a couple of the glass blocks seemed different. And I realized, as I focused on the window, that something behind those blocks was moving. Something sort of pale orange, pressed up against the glass – kind of like where someone’s face might be if they were trying to look through.

My first reaction was to run out of the bathroom and slam the door behind me – as if whatever it was could transport itself through the window into my bathroom. And then, in my best “I’m a helpless girl” voice, I yelled for Rick and told him there was something outside the bathroom window. And HIS first reaction was to grab a baseball bat so he could get ready to pound on the peeping tom who was obviously loitering outside my bathroom. But before he did that, he tentatively pushed aside the curtain in the bedroom, where we could actually look through a clear window. The “peeping tom” turned out to be a little calico cat. It froze when it saw us peering through the window (like we’d become some sort of reverse peeping toms…), and I was able to see the orangey fur that I’d glimpsed through the glass blocks in the bathroom.

So hopefully I’ll be able to sleep tonight, now that I know all the various noise-makers in my house have fresh batteries. And thank goodness the threat of the devious calico cat has been neutralized…